on my high horse


 OMG guys call the local news station; I'm wearing heels. For the first time in like, forever.
Not that I didn't have a good reason or anything. Try living in Montreal from November to March. You need Inuit-made moccasin trekking boots from old Hudson Bay whale blubber all day err day. Ok, I may be exaggerating. But come on, who doesn't love inserting the word "blubber" in an everyday convo.
So I broke the whole cycle and inserted some amazeballs camo green suede high heel booties into my look. They're normally comfy but as I've been on heel hiatus for the past million months, I may or may not die of agony mid-day begging to get an automated wheelchair to race around the office.
To go with these amazing runway spikes, I've got on a pair of trusty shiny black leggings from American Apparel because those things are like Twinkies: they never die. And, to stay warm because it's like only -30 degrees today (blue skies, the birds are dead) I've snuggled into a large knit hooded long sweater to compensate for the lack of comfort to my toesies.
....2 hours later...RIP my feet. Nice knowing you, toes! But, success! I'm getting that effin wheelchair. named her Betsy. It's the beginning of a love story.

sweater: H&M (old) - find similar here
leggings: American Apparel
shoes: Aldo


you know i'm all about that funk


Yo, yo Marky Mark in da house, check out my funky New Balance sneaks, cause it's all about the funk on your feet when your outfit is not on fleek.
I should totally start a boy band and then quit to become a famous actor. When that doesn't work, marry jenny McCarthy (wait, no, that's Donnie Wahlberg). Aw shiiiieeettt.
Back to me wearing a grey maxi cardi, black leggings (surprise surprise) and a basic white tee. Got my hair up in a baby bun, because it's Friday and thank little baby Jesus in his little crib.
The week's been a long one and I totally deserve this. Plus, someone cut me off this morning in the most ungodly traffic I've ever seen in civilized Canada and I almost got out of my car and punched her right in the ovaries thinking to myself, "oh, this outfit is so comfy, my range of motion is balls to the wall I can punch so fast" but then I didn't because I may or may not be chicken shit who knows.
Casual Friday is another way of saying "hey guys, wear what you wear the rest of the week but more homeless looking" so here it is.
And that's when I get to say, "We in dis bitch, finna get crunk, eyebrows on fleek, da fuq, da fuq" and shimmy away whilst moonwalking. Those are actual Ariana Grande lyrics, I'm not even joking.

cardigan: c/o Oasap
top: J Crew
leggings: Primark - find similar here
shoes: New Balance (old) - find similar here


anarchy denim


Today, let's focus on destruction.
Well, not exactly. I mean denim destruction, duh. These boyfriend jeans are the absolute tits. I love them so much, I wanted them to be front and center. My husband had to talk me into actually putting on a sweatshirt so I wouldn't go topless for like a good 6 minutes. Because, hey, you know me! No shirt, no problem. Surprisingly enough, boyfriend jeans are tricky to wear if you're not Gisele Bundchen. You have to get them to be loose enough without looking like the real Slim Shady, and not too tight to make you look like Beverly Goldberg. It's one of those things. Not too much, not too little, but just right. Go to town with the tearing, though, cuz that's really in.
I hope you all love my old school Adidas sneakers that have, thank baby Jesus, come back to life from Missy Elliot's Pass That Dutch music video (or whatever). If you wanted, you could even go for a flowy blouse and some stilettos, but what's the fun in that?! I like the borderline Justin Bieber look. Because I'm like ten years old and can't seem to stop the celebrity referencing today.
Peace out!

sweatshirt: c/o Ardene (old) - find similar here
jeans: c/o Ardene
shoes: Adidas

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